Kindergarten: Chapter One

We did it. 

We started Kindergarten. Although we are in a school where K and Pre-K are in the same room so he didn't have a very big transition (same teacher, too)...but the full day has really put a strain on him. It's been a rather successful few weeks all things considered. 

But it's an uphill battle sometimes. We are starting to see some intermittent behaviors rising up in Wyatt. In many ways it's completely developmentally appropriate for Wyatt to be finding his voice, having his opinions and his likes and dislikes. It's just that sometimes those "feelings" are shared through grunts and screams rather than actual words. He's quite capable of using words to say he's happy or mad, or even ask for something he wants ("watch iPad, Monnie") is quite clear). But when he's frustrated, he bypasses that and sometimes goes straight to pouting. He shook his fists at me and stomped his foot the other day and it was so adorable that it took all my power not to laugh. 

But, let me tell you...the BUCK. STOPS. HERE. Well, at least we are trying to stop it. It's so very important with our kiddos that when you see these kinds of behaviors arise, there is a quick plan in place to address them AND guide them. If we let this grunting and yelling go on too long, we might be staring at a 15 year old throwing an epic tantrum wondering what in tarnation happened. Maybe it's my incessant want for Wyatt to be successful, or my current fear that he's going to do something that will get him an invitation straight into a "different" kind of classroom (yes, I worry about everything ahead of schedule...working on that) at school. However, the crux of it is that I want him to be able to be that awesome, independent kid who has likes and dislikes and is able to voice his opinions and preferences. We are THRILLED that he has a "voice" and we want to foster that the correct way. Wyatt just may need a little more guidance and structure to get there. 

So BRING IT, Kindergarten. We are ready!

Friendship

Well hello there stranger!

You may have been wondering where I've been. Maybe not. You might not have even noticed I was gone for a while. You see, life got a little busy the last year and a half. We added a whole other person to our family and I suppose I was too busy to hear my own thoughts or sit long enough to write them down. But I want to keep this going, truly so here we go...again. Writing is cathartic for me but also an exciting part of my life. Life is complicated and beautiful and one of the great hallmark's of who we are as humans is friendships.

Friendships are complex. They bring joy, frustration, satisfaction and sometimes heartache. It's so important to foster and have friendships. That got me thinking...what about people with disabilities?

I'm sure the subject of Friendship has loooooong been on the mind of every parent who has had a child with a disability. I, for one, absolutely long for Wyatt to have valid, supportive, positive and genuine friendships when he gets older (not really all that different of a hope for either of my girls). But will all of Wyatt's friendships be true and genuine? Will people befriend him just because they feel "sorry" for him or because they want to make themselves feel better? Maybe, but I hope there are so many other friendship opportunities, too. Will he be able to reciprocate friendships and know how to be a good friend? I absolutely think he will be! He already is The Great Protector of his baby sister, covering corners of furniture when she gets close, pulling things out of her hands that she shouldn't have and blocking her from crawling into spaces she shouldn't go. So at 5, he already understands a great piece of friendship...protection. We all try and protect and stick up for our friends, don't we?

I think I'm not so worried about the childhood friendships that ebb and flow as we grow (there are a myriad of kids who have been termed "Wyatt's posse" at his school who totally have his back...it's awesome). But it's the friendships as adults that get more complex and it makes me wonder if those kids who love him now will continue to actively be his friend when he gets older. I also hope that Wyatt doesn't just have friendships with individuals with disabilities, but with people without disabilities as well. And for that to happen, we ALL sometimes have to be purposeful regarding our friendships with others. So I wondered...am I doing that? Am I purposefully seeking out others who are different that I am to foster relationships? Unfortunately the answer for me was no. I don't actively seek or pursue friendships with adult individuals with disabilities like I should. That one kinda hurt my heart. So I'm taking steps to change that. I'm inviting a woman who I know and genuinely enjoy being around, who has a disability and is my same age, to the movies. Not to brag or boast, but because I think she's awesome. And I want to be around her. And I think she's a beautiful person. I intend on fostering that friendship and taking purposeful steps to be her true friend.

Advocating for inclusion and disability rights is SO important, but as adults....are we really living it? And if you answer "no" to that question like I did, and are disappointed in that answer...then I encourage you to take one step to change that. It may change your life...and someone else's too.




And here...there's five of us now : )

Return of the Writer: The Pre-School Diaries (To Mom's with Infants with DS)

I realized today that it has been nearly 9 months since I have written. How is that even possible?!?! Life sometimes happens and gets in the way of me carving out time to organize my thoughts via the written word. And that's OK.

But today is special. So I figured it was as good a time as any to revive my Blog.

Why is today special? Because today...today, Wyatt started pre-school.

I heard a news story this morning that said more parents cry on the first day of school than kids. And today, this was 100% accurate! I cried last night packing Wyatt's backpack. I cried looking at all the FB posts of my other [EXTRA]ordinary friends' kids going to school. I cried looking at pictures of my little guy sent to me by my Mom, because I could not take him myself today.

As much as I prepared for this day, the day itself was both uneventful and amazing. From prior IEP and teacher meetings, to the sign language PDFs and the 'All About Wyatt' documents I sent and the multiple phone calls with his teacher...today ended up being just another typical day in the life of a pre-schooler. He was swept up by his teacher, and led into class to start the day.

AND THAT WAS THAT.

We are so fortunate to be in a school that (for the most part) includes kids with disabilities in the general education pre-school/kindergarten class. We participate in a Montessori school that was recommended by been-there-done-that Ds Mamas.

As the day forged on, I realized that this wasn't a culmination of the summer prep that I did, but rather the amazing result of the MAIN GOAL we have been working towards since Wyatt's birth. Whoa! We have worked hard to get him to this day! Some days, I wanted to give up or thought it wasnt worth all the therapy. I'm glad I (mostly) ignored those thoughts!

And so I say to all those Moms out there with new babies or infants who are working their proverbial arses off in therapy to get their kids to school...listen here: IT IS ALL WORTH IT!

There are days, weeks...and maybe even months where you will second guess, doubt and question yourself as to whether or not this or that is working. Question if you are doing too much or too little. Question if you are teaching the "right thing" or if you should just give it all up for a moment.

I'm here to tell you...KEEP GOING because you WILL see the fruits of your labor!

My Wyatt went to school today and worked LIKE A BOSS (thanks, Crossroads Church). I know we will likely have a few hills, and maybe mountains, ahead of us. But today was golden...He was following directions, working hard and standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his peers.

There is a small group of people that worked [EXTRA]ordinarily hard to make this happen (I already called you out on FB) and also a HUGE group of [EXTRA]ordinary friends who have lent support emotionally, strategically and have more than once talked me off my own ledge. I can never repay these people. But I am eternally gratefull for all they have done. Today is a success.

GO GET 'EM WYATT!

THE Moment: Oct. is Down Syndrome Awareness Month

October is Down syndrome awareness month. Many people are blogging daily this month and I applaud their efforts! I, however, am not in that place (time-wise) where I can do that. Additionally, I have sorely ignored my Blog for a few months now. But I do have something to offer about Down syndrome awareness.

There are so many things that I could address here, but I'm going to choose just one: THE moment.

What is that moment? Well, technically there are many of these moments. What I want you to be aware of now is that there is a moment I experience over and over and over again. The moment is surreal and grounded at the same time. The moment is earthly present and heavenly. The moment is fleeting and forever.

The moment is the time when I know, without a doubt, that Wyatt was perfectly and wonderfully made to be my child, just as he is. That moment is where I drink in his perfection and wonderfulness and forget about all the therapy, what the world thinks perfection is, what others say about his possible future and all the other negative things people can say. And, in that moment, in these many recurring moments, all is right with the world.

This moment happens almost daily. It often occurs when I'm putting Wyatt to bed and I give him one last hug and kiss before bed. It is the moment where I embrace him with all that I have and he embraces me, putting his sweet, chubby cheek right next to mine. He smells of a fresh bath and clean jammies. His room illuminated by the stars on the ceiling from his dream light. The hum of his fan quietly expelling a soothing hum. Then, I tell him how much I love him and I know, like I have never known anything before, that he was meant to be ours. I know that I don't care about anything else right now other than being right there. I know that the connection and relationship we have is greater than anything I ever could have imagined. I know that I love him perfectly and wonderfully, just as God loves me. I know everything is just fine and I'm doing it all right. That moment is pure perfection, pure joy, pure peace.

I want you to know about this moment because we are not all that different from you. We love our children. We are grateful for them. We have those perfect moments. There is another Blog out there that touts something like "we are not sad or depressed or..." And you know what? Neither are we. Yes, we have our daily struggles. But we are just thankful, and grateful, and happy to have Wyatt as a part of our family. I am happy that I get to experience perfection and love through my absolutely amazing and perfectly made Wyatt.

What's more perfect that a boy and his truck?

Gross Motor for a Two-Year-Old BOY!

Wyatt is turning out to be a boy.

Shocking, I know since he is, in fact a...BOY.

But for this Mom who had a girl first, it is a new territory.

About a year ago, my sister gave me a stern, tongue-in-cheek warning: boys are different than girls. I thought to myself "yeah, right, they can't be that different."

And, admittedly, I also had the thought rolling around in my head that, because of Wyatt having Down syndrome, that "boy" side would not be all that pronounced. My sister, just like me, had a girl first, then a boy (and subsequently another amazing little girl, Piper who is almost 9 months old now. We call her Sweet P, and boy do I adore her!!).

I should have silenced the voices in my head and listened to my sister. He is soooooo boy.

There are certain things that you realize you never have said before to your child when you have a boy after having a girl. Things like...

"Stop scratching your behind."
"Don't put your hands down your pants."
"Please stop throwing [the remote, the baby doll, the toothbrush, your food, the car...]"
"Stop ramming the truck into the wall, chair, your sister..."
"It's not polite to play with your..."

So what does this have to do with gross motor for a boy with Down syndrome?

I realized one day when I was playing at the park with my kids that Wyatt is becoming a"typical" boy and he loves to MOVE! Just like so many other boys!

I was kind of avoiding the playgrounds because I thought that, since Wyatt was not walking like a "typical" two-year-old, the playground would be too much for him. Oh how wrong I was! I really regret not talking him and letting him loose sooner!

He absolutely loves the playground and park. He was using the spokes on the handrails to walk himself up and down inclines (awesome PT). He was letting go and walking himself to and from different steering wheels and other moving parts of the playground. He was sliding (and signing) down the slides (head first and loving it)! He was climbing up a five foot rock wall - getting to the top, face beaming with pride! He rode a pink pig (holding on and rocking - which I wasn't sure he could do), played and swung like a champ (which he has been doing for a while.)

Who doesn't love riding a retro Pink Pig?

Look at me! I'm suck a big boy!

Eden and Wyatt swinging - perfect happiness at it's finest.

[TIP: Put your child side ways in the infant swing and swing them. This can stimulate the ear follicles and encourage body awareness and balance.]

I realized again that I should not limit my son. A consistent lesson over these two and a half years. He is capable of so many things! Some days I am protective, but I know that protecting him will only limit him.

The other day at the playground, he was with Josh and fell on the steps. He scraped part of his eyeborw and eyelid. He fussed for a minute and went right back to playing, like it was nothing. Whatta boy!

I write this to remind others that we should continue to include our children in everyday activities. Sometimes we forget that (even this Special Ed teacher). My advice? Go for it! Let them rule the playground and be a boy...or a girl! You'll get a great gross motor PT session out of it and you may just realize your child can do more than you thought.

I'll keep visiting the playground. But, in the meantime, I'll be picking up every toy we have from Wyatt throwing it, watching him play with his trucks and repeatedly telling him to take his hands out of his pants. : )

Just a boy and his truck

Breaks are Good (Update with photos!)

Wow, I haven't written in over a month!

Shocking that I haven't had so much on my mind that life required a mandatory expression via the written word. Not that there hasn't been a lot going on - quite the contrary. But I think my mind has relaxed a bit since I began my first true summer break as a teacher.

And let me tell you: It's AWESOME.

No, really. The word amazeballs comes to mind.

I'm not trying to gloat...really...it's just that I was completely exhausted at the end of the school year. I have really missed my kids. I REALLY missed sleep. And I very much missed summer fun. I've been sleeping about 8 or so hours a night, which for me is completely unheard of. I am feeling so much better. I had a crazy three years of Grad school, Wyatt's birth and the death of my father. This past year was spent getting into my new job, and honeslty processing everything that had happened. I gained about 20 pounds in the process. I have finally given myself permisson to STOP and enjoy each and every day and start to focus on a more healthy lifestyle again.

In June, first Wyatt had his second set of ear tubes 'installed' and he did great!

Wyatt (with Daddy) getting ready for surgery

Then, we went on vacation to Tampa to visit my incredible sister-in-law and her husband (whom I call my brother-out-law!), we went to the beach and to Disney for a day, just with Eden (an awesome last-minute opportunity, but Wyatt stayed back with Uncle Keith) and saw other family along the way.

Epcot - Just before Fireworks!

I am now spending my days toggling between hitting the pool, visiting the zoo, catching up on laundry and the house, and having relaxation days where we watch multiple movies in a day and never change out of our PJs. We eat blueberry waffles and bacon, then go visit my mother to raid her fresh vegetable garden. Oh, and I sneak in making some killer cupcakes! (OK, so bacon and cupcakes aren't healthy, but hey, old habits...)

Ahhhh....Poolside!

Riding the Train and the Cincinnati Zoo

Summer Chairs

THE cupcakes!

I have tried very, very hard to shut off my mind this last month and really focus on resting and doing purposeful things with my kids. (Well, that and I watched the first three seasons of Game of Thrones...) I wanted to stop and smell the proverbial roses. And I think I'm doing a pretty good job. We are busy, but we are mostly busy having fun.

A very hot Fourth of July, but it was a great evening with my little Family!

I have even stopped worrying so much about Wyatt walking.

And on that note...the boy is taking about 10 steps independently! He has stood himself up in the middle of the room a number of times and we are well on our way. Many times I see other kids with Ds his age who are totally mobile, but I try and just focus on what Wyatt is doing and not what other kids are doing. He is my love, my sunshine, my Dr. Destructo, my stinker (who wants to throw everything). He is bright, funny and doing amazing.

My super handsome little man Wyatt with his favorite dog - my Mom's dog, Mattie!

Eden is also well on her way to being a young lady (testing my patience daily, but really I wouldn't have it any other way). We are working on getting her started in Kindergarten. She is a great helper, when she listens, and a little Mommy already. Love her.

My beautiful Eden

All in all, breaks are good. They restore you, they offer a fresh perspective and they allow you to slow down and just simply...live.

I am very thankful that I am able to have this break. Not that things are perfect. We still have stress and things to worry about, and my house still needs LOTS of work...but this break was SO needed. Worries will still be there, but time with my kids at this age is fleeting. I feel like I am resting, enjoying my family, and taking a break to jump back in and give my all at work in August.

But right now, I'm giving my all to fun and rest.

Whether it's three days, three weeks or three months. I hope you take time to rest, enjoy life and have lots and lots of fun!

Therapy Ebs and Flows

Recently, Wyatt's Physical Therapist told me that she thinks he will be discharged from PT by the end of the summer.

This was exciting news for me. For one, discharge essentially means that his delays are no longer significant enough to require therapy. Our biggest focus has been getting Wyatt to walk. He sees PT at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center - CCHMC - (through the Thomas Center for Down Syndrome) right now every other week, and recently we have added PT from our Early Intervention Services (provided by the State and Hamilton County, which are "free" to us) every other week on the off weeks from CCHMC.

Let me back track for a moment.

Wyatt did not sit until he was almost a year. At seven months, he was starting to try and sit, then we passed eight months, then nine, ten, then eleven...and no independent sitting. He was thisclose to doing it for months, yet it just wasn't happening. He finally sat, completely independent, right around his first birthday. We rejoiced!

The physical part of his development wasn't as provocative as his social development (he really is a social genius).  However, his physical development has been fast and slow at the same time. Seeing fast growth in a months time, then waiting for weeks, or months for another notable milestone. We started to see ebs and flows from an early age. The ebs are when we see significant gains in one area in a certain amount of time. the flows are when we just wait. The progress is noted for a variable amount of time and then, well...nothing sometimes. Like I said, for months in some cases.

Walking has been a similar experience.

Wyatt started 'wanting' to walk at about 14 months. He was pulling up, holding my hands and trying to take steps.  I was thrilled to see these pre-walking skills so early, as I had heard that they sometimes don't emerge in "our" kiddos for quite some time. And to be honest, it was awesome when Wyatt would 'show off' these skills and other parents would 'ooh and ahh' over his early progress. I was excited. But that soon waned.

For those who have experienced a "typical" child, these developmental cues mean walking is within your grasp. You'll see precursors to walking skills and, all of of sudden, one day *poof* they walk. But with Wyatt, those skills eb and flow. They show up one day and then they just plateau. And we never know when, or if, they will re-emerge.

Research and therapists say that a child with developmental challenges (and even without) often only focus on one skill at a time. Where you have a lag, or plateau of progress in one area, sometimes you see a big growth in another. For Wyatt, even-though we have seen slower progress in walking, we have seen absolutely astonishing growth (IMHO) in communication.We have gone from Wyatt only having about 5 signs (ASL signing) in December, to him having around 30+ signs to date. I'm running out of signs I know to teach him. His receptive (what he understands) language is amazing, and his expressive (what he communicates) grows by the day. And his disposition is a dream (we had a therapist ask us 'is he always this good?' To which the answer was yes...he is AWESOME.)

So with all of this, here we sit, at almost 28 months old, and Wyatt is not walking independently. He recently took SEVEN independent steps at an evaluation at Cincinnati Childrens Hospital. That was amazing (and awesome that my Mom got to see it!). But we are still waiting and hoping for that day where he stands up, looks at us and independently walks to us.

I know it will happen. I know I should be patient. I almost hear me talking myself into it. And one day, walking frustrations will be as much of a distant memory as sitting was. But for now, we just wait and take these ebs and flows, of therapy and milestones, one accomplishment and day at a time.