As Christmas draws nearer, I can't help but be overwhelmed with many emotions and thoughts. The journey we have been on the last year has been a whirlwind. To think that this time last year I had just buried my father, was going to start a new job on the tail end of finishing graduate school, and Wyatt wasn't even sitting up yet on his own.
Now, a year later, so much has changed. Wyatt is near walking, I'm working in a district that I will, hopefully be in for the long run and I've come to feel peaceful regarding my father's passing. And as I want to write all these happy, encouraging things today, I want to really be honest. I have been back and forth feeling hopeful about things lately. I have always been hopeful overall, but sometimes life is just overwhelming. I'm overwhelmed. I need some Christmas hope.
I know we are relatively stable now in our jobs and finances - things are tight, but not unmanageable - so what could I possibly need to feel hopeful about? I think we all have those moments of maybe not feeling hopeless, but hope lacking. It's that feeling at the end of a hard day where you sit down, sigh and feel a little defeated. Eventhough we've come a long way, I still sometimes see that mountain in front of me. I really hope Wyatt walks soon. I really hope I get better at my job. I really hope my husband succeeds at his new job. I really hope we can get out of this house sooner than later and I really, really hope I get the honor of having another baby someday. And with all that said, I really, really, really hope I can also learn to be present more in each and every day!
I'm not looking for a pitty party here, just a little sprinkle of Christmas hope.
The magic of Christmas and the joy that the birth of Jesus brings every year seems to come at just the right time. We all get so busy, so stressed, so over run with responsibilities and the rush of the end of the year. I think that the end of the year makes us think about all that we have not done yet and what we hope to do next year. Every Christmas, for me is almost a reset button. I get all worried, all distressed, then the celebration of the birth of the Christ child just seems to wash it all away. I'm ready for that moment now. I'm ready for rejuvenation. I'm ready for that peace, that joy and that hope the Christmas celebration brings!