I loved when I first became a Mom to my beautiful Eden. She impatiently joined us 3.5 weeks ahead of schedule, but came out pink and healthy and perfect. She was tiny (I mean TINY...4.14 the day we brought her home). That weekend was the when the "hurricane" came through Cincinnati in the Fall of 2008. Without electricity, we furiously lit candles and tried to keep up with her demands. We really didn't know what to expect but ended up just sitting around with the screen door open, staring at each other, thinking: "what do we do now...?"
The unknown was both exiliarating and fearful all at the same time. We didn't know what twas coming next. We didn't know when she would start crawling or how we would feed her or how she would grow. We had never done this before, so we really didn't know what to do and we had to learn "on the job." When those "firsts" started coming, wow were they exciting! We celebrated everything: saying "dada," sitting up, playing with a toy, turning a certain way, hi-five-ing. Even the mundane was celebrated - Eden's in a new size diaper...YAY! (LOL).
It was pure joy.
I was told that once you have a first child, those subsequent "firsts" of other children never quite live up to the excitement of the original (although still celebrated in their own way). You kind of know what to expect and how things will go. The security of that makes you feel rather, well...seasoned. When I found out I was pregnant the second time, this is how I expected life would go on with baby #2.
Boy, was I wrong.
After Wyatt's diagnosis, I was wrapped in the fear part of the unknown. Who, what, wehn, where, how, and even that why all circled in my head. It was an uneasy feeling at first. But as things have progressed, I now feel like the luckiest person in the world!
I get to have TWO firsts.
Because having Wyatt is kind of like having that first child again. We didn't know when things would happen for him and we were not sure what to expect (and still don't!). We surely are learning about Down syndrome "on the job."
That uncertainty and fear has now turned into alot of excitement (well, mixed with some cautiousness, just like with Eden). We celebrate EVERYTHING! For example, this week Wyatt sat himself up for the first time from laying on his belly. We were sitting there playing and he did it, right in front of my eyes. Eden was sitting next to me. When I realized what had happened, a turned to Eden and squeeled with such excitement, it scared her! I exclaimed, "Eden, he sat up! Wyatt good job buddy!" I clapped and called out, "Yay! Wyatt!!!"
What a wonderful joy this adds to life. I realized, as I was filled with immense pride and joy for my son's seemingly small accomplishment, that I felt that way with all of Eden's firsts.
And now I get to feel that pure "first" exillaration, all over again! : )